|—||Tricia Gilmore, my former supervisor via linkedin mail.|
Often we find ourselves asking questions like, “Why me?” “Why, God?” “Why this, why that, how come?” when we are in trouble, when things aren’t going the way we expected them to turn out. However, I hardly ask myself “Why me?” and the questions alike when I am talking about my blessings. Why do I have the friends that I have right now? Why do I have lovely parents and a sister? Why do I have a house to live in? Why did God place me in specific situations in this time in light of all the blessings He has provided me with? The truth is that God is sovereign and nothing in life is a coincidence. I say that I count on my blessings but as a matter of fact I think I have been taking them very lightly. I have been taking my blessings for granted.
It’s time for me to count on my blessings, not the negatives or the disappointments from life. It is good to reflect on them sometimes, but it is not healthy to dwell in them forever. To the world’s eyes, I may not have a lot in life. But to ” have faith in Jesus is not to know what God is doing for you, but to know that God knows what He’s doing.” His grace is sufficient for me and it is all that I need. From that, I must understand that I am in good hands because I am in His hands. It’s time for me to count on my blessings in light of where God has placed me at this stage, at this time in my life.
James 1:17-18 “Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change. Of his own will he brought us forth by the word of truth, that we should be a kind of firstfruits of his creatures.”
Thanks, Ho-Jhin - my favorite dentist of all time.
on 07/13/12, I wrote an e-mail out to about 40 people who constantly supported me with words, prayers and actions on my summer internship process to thank them for the support. I read it again today, and this part still applies to me and now God’s asking me to trust in Him and His ways all the more for my full-time employment (and about everything in life).
“…For that I want to thank all of you for your prayers, guidance, support and encouragement. Some of you guys have prayed for me throughout this process. Some of you guys asked me how things were going - that was encouraging. Some of you helped me, prepped me, and even mock interviewed me. Some of you put in a good word for me. I thank you all, and I thank God for giving me this opportunity.
The reason why I decided to write this long email is to 1) update you all, and thought it wouldn’t be fair if I didn’t. 2) to share the things I have learned from all of this. There were so many instances where I felt like it was all over, because so many people were getting hired for summer and I had nothing. I came down to sd this summer by faith without knowing what the future would hold. I tried my best each day to trust in Him, not because God does things for me because I know what He’s doing. I always had this up as my gmail/gchat status as a reminder. “Faith in Jesus is not to know what God is doing for you, but to know that God knows what He’s doing.” -Pastor Paul Kim…”
My heart is fleeting because there were many times during fall quarter I got antsy. This is the same message God has shown me through John 5/6 when I was in New York. This is the same message that my aunt shared, and I feel like He used my aunt to tell me. Even at Urbana, I learned that I gotta surrender my kingdom, in order to be used by God’s kingdom. This past Sunday’s sermon was on Proverbs 3:5-6. Although my immediate future is uncertain and cloudy, everything is connecting together. I’ma tell myself everyday, “I am in good hands because I am in God’s hands.”
Proverbs 3:5-6 - ”Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge (submit to) him, and he will make your paths straight.”
Shout out to the Yuen brothers (Matt & Josh). Matt shared this with Josh, and then Josh shared this with me.
It was a great read for me and I wish I got to share this earlier, but this one goes out for everyone still going through finals! I got 2 more coming up - Fri 8AM and Fri 7PM. “So close, I can feel it.”
Here are a couple things that I found that are really helpful in the stressful time of studying for finals. Just know all of your hard work will pay off, and there is reason to your work. Do everything so as to glorify God with your efforts and actions and thoughts.
and here is another thing:
“Study not for yourself, not for your friends, not for your parents, but for something much greater, the greatest being possible, God because He alone is worthy of all praise.
Study not with the attitude that school is pointless, but that secular work can be glorious because Jesus, the Lord of all creation, humbly made tables for most of His life.
Study not with a complaining heart, but with a heart overflowing with thankfulness because school really can be the happiest place on earth.
Study not with anxiety but with a peace that surpasses all understanding because you can touch your hair and rest assured that every one of them is numbered.
Study not with the feeling of being overwhelmed with what you have to do, but be overwhelmed by what He has done for you because His promises are sure.
Study not with a ridiculous attitude believing that we can fully comprehend God but with a humble spirit knowing that our minds are like a soda can compared to the vast ocean of His wisdom.
Study not with an earthly perceptive, but with a kingdom perspective because 100 years from now we will be with Christ no matter what.
Study not for the grade, but for the Master because His grading system is better than ours.
Study not with a small attitude, but dream big because God can use your studies open glorious opportunities for you in the future.
Study not with uncertainty, but with peace from God because He is in control, He is never anxious, and He makes no mistakes.
Study not with an unfocused mind, but a focused mind because life is short, eternity is long, and our lives shall not be wasted.
Study not in a self-centered attitude, but in a prayerful attitude because we need God more than air.
Study not for the grade, but for sanctification because our character is much more important than any letter on any piece of paper.
Study for God because, by His grace, He gave you a brain and what an honor and privilege it is to be able to think, to process information, and to study at a school where the education system is better than most kids can ever dream of. Study, because when you study, you can become fascinated with what you learn because it all points back to a Creator. The complexity of the subjects you can’t understand, the math, the sciences, the languages, the history, the arts, all of it points to a being that is so much grander and greater, a creator that is way above us, because it takes us years to grasp the simplest of concepts. Study with joy, because learning trains your mind to think, so later when you try studying the Bible, you will have a mind that can think and analyze and deduct the correct interpretation of the Bible and allow it to transform your life.”
Martin Luther, commentary on the Galatians (2:13)
After going through 2011 China mission trip and just from various experiences in life, I’ve learned that I always have to be flexible because plans can change at any given moment.
The head supervisor told me that starting next week, I won’t be working full-time, 40 hours a week. Instead, I will be working 18 hours - 2 days a week. That caught me off by a surprise because I thought I was going to be working full time for 9 weeks, not 5 and then have them change it up on me.
On the bright side, they said they’d need me for the same amount of workload during the school year. That was an uncertainty, but now that I got a confirmation, I was happy about that. She then asked me how I was feeling at the moment. I told her, “well, I’m certainly surprised. I want to work more but what can I do or say? I’m just an intern.” She asked me if I had financial obligations, and I told her that I’m on my own for tuition and housing. She said that she did that in college as well. It’s all business, strictly business - she can confide with me but at the end of the day, it was what it was.
I told Kevin during lunch, “I’m just a pawn in this chess game (corporate world, as an intern).” There are no guarantees and no promises. I’m not the one who can call the shots. But hey, I have the King of Kings who is in full control of me, I am happy to be His pawn. My hope and identity is not found in my job, but in Christ. I was giving God praise that I was able to remain thankful, for the fact that I secured a job for fall quarter at least, instead of being let down from working less hours. The people around us may walk away, the situations and plans may change last minute, but my God stays the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow - forever.
3 things I were reminded of
- “Many are the plans in a man’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails.” - Proverbs 19:21 (one of my favorite bible verses)
- “What you want ain’t what you get, you be surprised of a lot of things, you can’t expect. What I go through my experience, you just gotta enjoy the ride.” Manifest - Joy Ride
- “Enjoy the moment. ” - Kobe Bryant
Daniel Hankyul Lee
Tuesday, July 24, 2012
And earth has nothing I desire besides you.
26 My flesh and my heart my fail,
but God is the strength of my heart
and my portion forever.
27 Those who are far from you will perish;
you destroy all who are unfaithful to you.
28 But as for me, it is good to be near God.
I have made the Sovereign LORD my refuge;
I will tell of all your deeds.
Psalm 73:25-28 NIV
from my LJ reading 07/07/12 (Hosea 10-12, Ps 73, Hebrews 4). Loved how everything today connected with each other and how this particular passage hit home for me.
World of Color.
Court side, front row seats. Got so wet, but worth the every drop of water since we got it for free!!! yay for hook ups! Thank You God!
John Piper (via Twitter)
Oof… He got me saying sip sip like crazy. Amen amen.
2 things from this quote